Take the Bible run it through a Markov chain generator and, well, it actually makes about the same amount of sense….
Then said Jesus unto them, nor serve them, and he brought out the Canaanites to tribute, and did all the evil spirit was to be built no more: and the grove that [is] with him pursued them unto the king, and said, What have they seen in thine house divers measures, both of the God of Israel;
So that he may eat bread without scarceness, thou shalt break his yoke from off the earth. He saith unto them, Why repair ye not to Jeroboam any that knoweth how to rule the day, behold, two blind men sitting by him,) For how can I endure to see the earth.
After the success of my little snippet I thought perhaps the world was ready for a new gospel, so I decided to generate a brand new Bible. First I stripped everything prior to Genesis and did my best to remove verse(?) numbers
Once that completed (it took a while) I ran it through a quick script to create a new guide for the spiritual world.
Take it, go forth, spread the gospel. Damn the unbelievers!